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Men who are financially dependent on their female partners are more likely to cheat than men who contribute equally to the couple’s bank account, according to a new study based on heterosexual couples between the ages of 18 and 28. But the relationship between male dependency and infidelity disappeared when factors like education, age and relationship satisfaction entered into the mix, suggesting that cheating is a more complex matter than who signs the checks.

The study revealed that men who depend on their wives’ or girlfriends’ incomes are five times more likely to cheat than men who are not dependent. Women who made much less than their husbands were less likely to stray than women who made more. “Men and women react very differently to economic dependency,” said C. Munsch from Cornell University. However, economic disparity is just one of many factors that can play a role in infidelity.

Underreporting by cheating women is a possibility, Munsch said, but “no more so in this study than in other surveys of socially unacceptable behavior”. Women became more and more likely to cheat as their income increased in relation to their male partner’s. Men, on the other hand, were most likely to cheat if they were economically dependent — or if they made much more money than their female partners. Men who made 25 percent more than their partners were the most faithful.

When it came to high earners, who were more likely to cheat, the findings held true even when age, education level, income, religious attendance and relationship satisfaction were taken into account. For both genders, making more money may lead to more opportunities to cheat, Munsch said. High-paying jobs may require more hours away from home or on the road, for example. For low-earning men, though, the correlation between cheating and economic dependence vanished when the same variables were held steady. That means that one or more of the variables is affecting the relationship, Munsch said. For example, lower-earning men may be unhappier in their relationships or feel that their partners’ high wages threaten their masculinity, and that might prompt them to cheat. In this case, the thinking goes, men shore up their ego by cheating. In contrast, low-earning women aren’t fighting any cultural stereotypes and may worry about how they’ll support themselves if they’re caught, so they stay faithful.

“We don’t really know what that causal chain looks like and why it exists,” she said. “So that finding needs to be interpreted with caution.”

(Source: LiveScience.com 20100816)

‘Mike? I haven’t seen him for quite some time now!’

When the initial euphoria about life abroad has settled, cultural quirks, disillusionment and language barriers, coupled with a lack of a support system can create a sense of loneliness for expats. Even those who coped quite well with the challenges of transition, start to miss a close and sufficiently large circle of friends after a while. Many may have loose leisure or sports partners, but no one they would call a really good, intimate friend. So even life in Thailand can start to feel depressing after a while – out of recurring feelings of loneliness.

Younger people usually deal with this challenge more easily – it is usually easier for them to integrate into new environments, to learn the new language and to make contacts with local people. Older people, however, often develop a desire to retire from public life. Over the years, many of them even tend to reduce their contacts to the people they once enjoyed hanging out with, only leaving their apartments to buy goods or to (quietly) attend the weekly expat meetings. Eventually, even that may feel to exhausting. So it is that we have to read in our newspaper that people died isolated and lonely – whether from illness or even by their own hands. In my view, that’s the worst end of life, considering the dreams they once had in mind when deciding to move to popular retirement countries like Thailand, Gran Canaria or New Zealand.

When confronted with loneliness, feelings of depression or anxiety: stay active, keep meeting your friends and maintain your hobbies! But also keep an eye on your friends and acquaintances: how are they actually doing right now?

(This short article is part of a weekly series dealing with psychological expat problems and general mental health issues and was published in various newspapers and magazines in Thailand, 2010)

Psychiatrist, Psychologist, Counselor, Trainer or Psychotherapist?
The maze of mental health-related job titles.

Most of the people looking for advice, having personal problems or problems in their relationrships inevitably have to ask themselves: who is the right person to adress my issues? 100 years ago it was usually a priest or a medical doctor. Today, however, thanks to the great progress in specialization and research, it makes sense to contact the most competent partner.

Psychiatrists and neurologists: they are trained medical doctors specializing in the diagnosis and predominantly pharmacological (drug) treatment of severe mental disorders such as personality disorders and psychosis (such as schizophrenia etc.) and neurological disorders (disorders of the nervous system).
Psychologists: are the experts on mental processes and structures. It’s clinical psychologists who usually specialize in diagnosis, counseling and training. Offering psychotherapy, however, requires additional qualifications in most countries.

Coaches, counselors, advisers: these titles are not protected, so a proliferation of vendors, mostly without any skills, or professionally based training exists. “Before use”, therefore, an opinion about the seriousness of the provider should be formed.
Psychotherapists: for their profession, the therapeutic treatment of mental disorders and psychological burden, they have to undergo several years of intense training. Psychotherapeutic applications include couples therapy and sex therapy. Psychotherapies usually involve sessions of about 50 minutes every 1-2 weeks.

For minor issues only recently beginning, counseling is usually sufficient. If these issues have lasted longer or occur again and again, it is recommended to visit a qualified psychotherapist and to follow through with the therapy for several months to achieve long-term improvement. With severe mental illness, consult a psychiatrist in order to get a correct diagnosis and medication support as complementary treatment – it is worldwide standard today to get supportive and stimulating psychotherapeutic treatment for psychiatric disorders as well. This approach however seems to only slowly gain footing in Thailand.

(This short article is part of a weekly series dealing with psychological expat problems and general mental health issues and was published in various newspapers and magazines in Thailand, 2010)

‘Counseling: who needs such a thing?‘ This is about the view some veteran personalities express when the issue comes to psychotherapy or counseling. Psychotherapy still has a dubious image – people who need it would have to be losers or people who don’t have control over their lives.

But a look outside the box shows that in progressive and self-critical, competitive societies, approaches such as psychotherapy, coaching or counseling are well accepted aids in difficult situations of life. Celebrities talk openly about how they learned more about themselves in psychotherapy, and managers report about achieving new momentum through coaching on a regular basis for their challenging job.

To see the potential of counseling, one has to understand that a person’s ability to help and ‘advise’ herself is actually quite limited. Each of us has a very personal way to deal with problems: again and again we apply pretty much the same strategies – and even if they fail, most of us tend to just try harder, even at the risk of a disaster. Counseling and therapy however primarily bring in neutral and unbiased feedback from a professional not stuck in the dilemma – often, he can also introduce new perspectives and establish new and creative ways of dealing with the challenge to ease overcoming the obstacles for a solution.
In this sense, seeking counseling, coaching or psychotherapy is a sign of foresight and intelligence: that someone considers himself and his life so valuable that he no longer accepts feeling unhappy or wastes time by just relying on his own ways of thinking.

(This short article is part of a weekly series dealing with psychological expat problems and general mental health issues and was published in various newspapers and magazines in Thailand, 2010)

Everyone knows about the harmfulness of smoking. Governments try to make smoking more uncomfortable and expensive, and entire industries live by the hope of wanna-be non-smokers, claiming to make the quitting easier and more bearable. And yet, most find it utmost difficult to stop smoking.

But whenever pure self-discipline, the power of chemistry and pharmacology turn out insufficient in helping us to permanently change our behavior, the psyche has been overlooked – a powerful force within us, one over which the conscious mind and drugs have only very limited impact! That’s why smokers and addicts in general tend to get caught up in a longstanding interplay between trying to quit and falling back into old patterns of dependence. They feel bad about themselves most of the time, since they really want to stop with their addictive behavior – but can’t manage to achieve it. It’s like you want to do something good for your body and keep it healthy – but something deep inside keeps you from it.

If you noticed this pattern in yourself, it can be helpful and enlightening to learn about the causes of your personal dependency behavior supported by a trained counselor. If the conscious mind recognizes better what ‘goes deep down in the basement’ (the psyche) and learns a few new strategies it can utilize to achieve its goals, it can support your body more efficiently and you will regain better control over yourself again. Finally, hypnotherapy can help to anchor the new and ‘smoking-liberated’ behavior patterns permanently in the subconscious mind.

(This short article is part of a weekly series dealing with psychological expat problems and general mental health issues and was published in various newspapers and magazines in Thailand, 2010)

‘You’re psychotic!‘ That’s supposed to be the ‘polite’ form of the phrase ‘You’re insane!’, used by some when they can’t explain the actions of a person.

In deeply nature-bound cultures, people whose behavior strongly deviated from what was perceived as ‘normal’, were treated by magicians and shamans. In the West, however, they were locked up in so-called ‘insane asylums’ where they often received cruel treatment. Only in the 1930s, psychiatrist Karl Birnbaum introduced a first definition of the medical term ‘psychosis’: according to his theory, biological roots defined the form of the disease, while its severity, beginning and course would be strongly influenced by psychological factors, so new ways of treatment were experimented with.

The importance of the factors involved in psychiatric diseases was subjected to historical changes: while the ‘mentally ill’ were considered as uncurable before psychiatry became a medical science, after Birnbaum and Freud, psychotherapy had its heyday. Currently, we are again in a phase with an emphasis on physical (neurological) theories and treatments. Sometimes, treatment is so focused on pharmacological prescriptions that even patients feel that ‘something is missing’. The most successfull concepts in modern therapy therefore involve a multi-strategic approach of pharmacological, psychotherapeutic and social therapeutic aid.

People experiencing psychosis or psychotic episodes may report hallucinations or delusional beliefs, and exhibit personality changes and confusion. Depending on its severity, this may be accompanied by unusual or bizarre behavior, as well as difficulty with social interaction and impairment in carrying out every day activities due to feelings of anxiety, irritation, moodiness, and passive or indifferent behavior.

As patients are often intimidated about having to fight mental problems or might perceive their own situation in a distorted way, it is essential that friends or relatives do their best to help them get a proper diagnosis and therapy. If treatment starts early, the chances of stabilization and returning to a balanced and stable life increase significantly.

(This short article is part of a weekly series dealing with psychological expat problems and general mental health issues and was published in various newspapers and magazines in Thailand, 2010)

If everything goes well for Paul, he enjoys his life. But then there are the times when anxiety robs his sleep and even during the day he suffers from the fear of being seriously ill. A headache could be an indication of a brain tumor; swollen lymph nodes, diarrhea, or a birthmark could be a reference to cancer; the memory of a particular sexual adventure raises fear of having been infected with HIV.

Paul spends lots of time every day examining his body for suspicious signs and to gather information about possible symptoms. The Internet turns out to be a diabolical companion: vast amounts of information are openly available, but sometimes their reliability is doubtful, or certain contradictions turn up. Doctor visits also provide only temporary relief: couldn’t the doctor have been wrong or missed something?

Often people burdened by fears like Paul’s are intelligent, physically fit and live a very healthy lives. Their fears severely constrict the extent to which they can enjoy their lives. Short spells of relief are inevitably followed by the next phase of panic-like feelings of worry.

When suffering from such fears there is no need to be ashamed. This form of anxiety has causes that are not the affected persons’ fault and can be treated with strategies applied during psychotherapy or hypnotherapy – provided that there is a readiness to attend regular counselling sessions for a certain period. During the treatment new ways of dealing with these chronic concerns will be developed, relieving the heart from the heavy cloak of fear.

(This short article is part of a weekly series dealing with psychological expat problems and general mental health issues and was published in various newspapers and magazines in Thailand, 2010)

Violence is an ‘unforgettable’ valve. Already as a toddler, each of us learned that violence can at least provide short-term benefits – an experience which was stored deeply in the brain. From then on, whenever we don’t feel understood or not heard in a conflict, and in any situation that feels threatening, there will be at least a subconscious thought playing with the possibility of using psychological or physical violence to gain ground.

Education and maturation of our personality however allow us to learn other means of conflict resolution as well, which is the reason why very few adults are using physical violence. But then there are also people who find it harder than others to control their emotions. Their conflicts escalate much more easily: at first, mostly verbal, but sometimes they can end up in the form of physical attacks or reprisals.

The roots of the propensity to violence are almost always socially conditioned: the vast majority of perpetrators of violence grew up in economically poorer and atmospherically difficult families, often there are feelings of depression, a lack of perspective or a feeling of ‘not being able to achieve it.’

Unfortunately, the use of force almost always results in massive problems in partnerships, friends and society. Also, studies show that due to higher stress loads, the tendency to violence harms various organs and can make physically sick. Therefore, psychological and psychotherapeutic impulse control programs have been developed which can help affected people to learn regulate their emotions better and regain their ability to be ‘the boss of one’s body’.

(This short article is part of a weekly series dealing with psychological expat problems and general mental health issues and was published in various newspapers and magazines in Thailand, 2010)

Armed conflicts are hard to process. Subconsciously they remind us of our own mortality and trigger a strong impulse to sympathize with either the aggressor’s or the victim’s side. After that, the position taken will rarely be corrected. A headwind will often amplify this, sometimes by suppressing or distorting new perceptions and information. The Swiss psychoanalyst Arno Gruen analyzed the causes for human destructiveness in a remarkable way in his publications.

This momentum explains why so many individuals as well as international media and organizations had such obvious difficulties to name the violent aspects of the political protests that took place. An openly signaled sympathy for the proponents of democratic values by individual reporters would be justifiable – but having to read and hear terms like ‘defense’ or ‘justifiable anger’ even after arson and attacks against civilians took place, many of us were stunned by the noticeable partisanship and rationalization of the damage caused.

A dynamic we saw in the camp of UDD was just as disturbing. Many people inside the camp as well as many supporters outside were so emotionalized by the passionate speeches (which constantly alleged the government of having an intent to kill them), that when their leaders finally called to immediately stop the radicalization at the time of their arrest, it did not help anymore because the train was already at full speed. Not least because revolutionary movements often attract elements who join them not from political belief but rather for the pleasure of destruction and violence – a drive just waiting for the appropriate opportunity to unleash.

(This short article is part of a weekly series dealing with psychological expat problems and general mental health issues and was published in various newspapers and magazines in Thailand, 2010)

Tourists walking through one of the destroyed districts of Bangkok (Image: ZEIT Online)

Links:
- Arno Gruen – books dealign with
- Bangkok iReport CNN
- This is no peasant’s revolt (The Nation)
- Put an end to this rebellion (Bangkok Post)
- The Shame of the UDD (Bangkok Post)
- Two “protest leaders” – two interpretations of ‘peaceful opposition’
- What would your government do about this (Bangkok Post guest comment)

A large-scale impact study (n = 1046) of the Institute for Women’s Health Badem-Württemberg for frequency of sexual dysfunction in women (Female Sexual Dysfunction, FSD) and ways to treat them was recently published in the prestigious journal Journal of Sexual Medicine.

The aim of this study was to find out about the a) frequency and b) different forms of disorders of female sexual function. Also investigated was the relationship between dysfunction and hormonal contraception with the ‘anti-baby pill’, or more precisely, with different forms of hormonal contraceptives. A standardized questionnaire asked specifically about the participants’ sexual activity and possible influencing factors. Regarding a possible use of contraception, the effects of various contraceptive methods on sexual function as well as different hormonal contraceptives was compared.

The analysis shows that of the participating women, 32.4% had a risk for female sexual dysfunction: 8.7% orgasm problems, 5.8% libido issues (hypoactive sexual desire disorder), 2.6% satisfaction problems, 1.2% had decreased lubrication, 1.1% were suffering from pain during sexual intercourse and 1.0% symptoms of a sexual arousal disorder. Smoking and use of contraception had a significant impact on the prevalence of the prevalence of secual dysfunction, hormonal contraception was significantly more often associated with reduced libido and arousal than non-exclusive non-hormonal contraception or non-contraception. Other variables such as stress, pregnancy, relationship issues and a desire to have children also had a significant impact on sexual function.

The authors point out that the study could primarly detect associations, but can’t prove the causality of individual sexual problems.

(Source: Wallwiener CW, Wallwiener LM, Seeger H, Mueck AO, Bitzer J, and Wallwiener M; Prevalence of Sexual Dysfunction and Impact of Contraception in Female German Medical Students ; doi: 10.1111/j.1743-6109.2010.01742.x)